A hunt 2 remember
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Saturday Laughs
- Thread starter Coachgun
- Start date
A hunt 2 remember
New member
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2019
- Messages
- 639
- Reaction score
- 113
Coachgun
New member
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- Sep 2, 2019
- Messages
- 297
- Reaction score
- 54
Never Take Your Wife to the State Fair!
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”. My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, “He mated 50 times last year.”
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR.” My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “WOW! That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR”. My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs and said, “That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow?”
My condition is slowly improving and I’ve been upgraded from critical to stable condition. Doctors say I should make a full recovery.
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”. My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, “He mated 50 times last year.”
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR.” My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “WOW! That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, “THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR”. My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs and said, “That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow?”
My condition is slowly improving and I’ve been upgraded from critical to stable condition. Doctors say I should make a full recovery.
Coachgun
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Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steaks. However, all of Bubba’s neighbors were Catholic and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steak was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass. The priest sprinkled Holy water over him and said, “You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.”
Bubba’s neighbors were greatly relieved until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison steaks filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors.
As the priest rushed into Bubba’s yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of Holy water, which he carefully sprinkled over the grilled meat while chanting, “You was born a deer and you was raised a deer, but now you are a catfish.”
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steak was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass. The priest sprinkled Holy water over him and said, “You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.”
Bubba’s neighbors were greatly relieved until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison steaks filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors.
As the priest rushed into Bubba’s yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of Holy water, which he carefully sprinkled over the grilled meat while chanting, “You was born a deer and you was raised a deer, but now you are a catfish.”
Coachgun
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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said, "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said, "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!
Last edited by a moderator:
Coachgun
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A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already."
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already."
Coachgun
New member
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- Reaction score
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Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him $5 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him $10 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"
The first drunk tips him $5 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him $10 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"
